When the Dating Game becomes the Waiting Game

Recently I was sitting around a camp fire with Geoff and one our favorite couples, Katie & Carson, and we were talking about how we came across someone's wedding blog and it was kind of eerie how personal they were in their writing. There are definitely things that I think should be kept between two people when they are getting married, but I also think there are things that are worth being shared. I am learning that there is a WHOLEEEEEEEEEE different story about serious relationships becoming engagements and engagements becoming marriages that are not shared. People put up a facebook picture of the ring and tell their cute engagement story and so often forget to mention the scary, humbling, painful, sacrificial process of deciding to get married. This is my disclaimer that I have spent a lot of time contemplating whether or not I should share this publicly. My decision to share is a result of me wishing for a friend to walk through this hard season with... if one girl, just one girl, comes across my blog and this brings goodness to her heart, then I think it was worth publicly sharing my current heart state and emotions.

My life plan at 18 was to go to college, meet the perfect boy that met my checklist of standards, date through college, get engaged senior year, both get jobs right out of school and get married in October 2012. Happy fake wedding month to me!

When I started dating Geoff, I was 19 years old and a sophomore at Georgia College, things were lining up perfect for my wonderful dream life. I never thought we would actually get jobs right out of college because of the state of the economy but low and behold we both got full time jobs before we even graduated! Back to my perfect dream life plan... in college things were looking good for this girl!

 First hang time at IHOP in Conyers in October 2008.

 

November 2009 - When all our friends tell us to just admit that we like each other but of course we deny it. Hey Benny Boy lookin' like a little kid!

 January 2010 we decided we should start dating and go to Tacky Prom together.

Planning is one of my biggest faults. But not in the way you may expect. I am in fact one of the best planners you will ever meet. But, I rely on my own plans so much that the Lord has a wonderfully horrible way of revealing to me that His plans may not necessarily be my plans. So here I am 22, dating the same dream boy for almost 3 years, we both love Jesus, we both love each other, we both love loving Jesus together and we think that being together forever would be really cool. But there is no ring, no "timeline", no wedding date, no house hunting... there is a boy trying to do the Lord's will and a girl running very low on patience.

This is how I feel everyday...  (cute kid... depressing thought)

This is not the cue for the pity party to officially begin, this is the cue for me to shut up, suck it up, and drink in some wisdom. This was passed along to me from my dear friend Madalene Ramsey... she dated her husband Ben for 5 years before they got married, so it looks like I need to listen to someone that has endured this hard season longer than I have.

Madelene gave me this quote from an Andy Stanley sermon:

"Here is what patience is. Love never pressures the other person. Love creates as much space and time and margin as the other person needs. If you are in a relationship and you are being pushed. That person is not loving you. This doesnt suddenly appear as a personal virtue when you say I do."

My new name is Stephanie 'giver of space and time' Hladilek. I will most likely need to remind myself of this in 5 minutes.

Additional thoughts:

• If you are engaged, recently engaged, about to be engaged... I don't hate you. Please don't hear that from reading my post. 
• Also, please don't think any of this post is "poor me" or an attempt to convince Geoff to just man up and commit already. Seriously... just sharing my heart, trying to be cool, and hopefully helping a sister walk through the same tough season.
• When I do get engaged I don't want people to just say "Oh she finally got her ring..." that's not what this is about. This is about learning how to be the woman Jesus wants me to be during a really tough season.

Still technically single but ready to do the no pants dance mingle with Geoff Foster,

Stephanie