When the Dating Game becomes the Waiting Game

Recently I was sitting around a camp fire with Geoff and one our favorite couples, Katie & Carson, and we were talking about how we came across someone's wedding blog and it was kind of eerie how personal they were in their writing. There are definitely things that I think should be kept between two people when they are getting married, but I also think there are things that are worth being shared. I am learning that there is a WHOLEEEEEEEEEE different story about serious relationships becoming engagements and engagements becoming marriages that are not shared. People put up a facebook picture of the ring and tell their cute engagement story and so often forget to mention the scary, humbling, painful, sacrificial process of deciding to get married. This is my disclaimer that I have spent a lot of time contemplating whether or not I should share this publicly. My decision to share is a result of me wishing for a friend to walk through this hard season with... if one girl, just one girl, comes across my blog and this brings goodness to her heart, then I think it was worth publicly sharing my current heart state and emotions.

My life plan at 18 was to go to college, meet the perfect boy that met my checklist of standards, date through college, get engaged senior year, both get jobs right out of school and get married in October 2012. Happy fake wedding month to me!

When I started dating Geoff, I was 19 years old and a sophomore at Georgia College, things were lining up perfect for my wonderful dream life. I never thought we would actually get jobs right out of college because of the state of the economy but low and behold we both got full time jobs before we even graduated! Back to my perfect dream life plan... in college things were looking good for this girl!

 First hang time at IHOP in Conyers in October 2008.

 

November 2009 - When all our friends tell us to just admit that we like each other but of course we deny it. Hey Benny Boy lookin' like a little kid!

 January 2010 we decided we should start dating and go to Tacky Prom together.

Planning is one of my biggest faults. But not in the way you may expect. I am in fact one of the best planners you will ever meet. But, I rely on my own plans so much that the Lord has a wonderfully horrible way of revealing to me that His plans may not necessarily be my plans. So here I am 22, dating the same dream boy for almost 3 years, we both love Jesus, we both love each other, we both love loving Jesus together and we think that being together forever would be really cool. But there is no ring, no "timeline", no wedding date, no house hunting... there is a boy trying to do the Lord's will and a girl running very low on patience.

This is how I feel everyday...  (cute kid... depressing thought)

This is not the cue for the pity party to officially begin, this is the cue for me to shut up, suck it up, and drink in some wisdom. This was passed along to me from my dear friend Madalene Ramsey... she dated her husband Ben for 5 years before they got married, so it looks like I need to listen to someone that has endured this hard season longer than I have.

Madelene gave me this quote from an Andy Stanley sermon:

"Here is what patience is. Love never pressures the other person. Love creates as much space and time and margin as the other person needs. If you are in a relationship and you are being pushed. That person is not loving you. This doesnt suddenly appear as a personal virtue when you say I do."

My new name is Stephanie 'giver of space and time' Hladilek. I will most likely need to remind myself of this in 5 minutes.

Additional thoughts:

• If you are engaged, recently engaged, about to be engaged... I don't hate you. Please don't hear that from reading my post. 
• Also, please don't think any of this post is "poor me" or an attempt to convince Geoff to just man up and commit already. Seriously... just sharing my heart, trying to be cool, and hopefully helping a sister walk through the same tough season.
• When I do get engaged I don't want people to just say "Oh she finally got her ring..." that's not what this is about. This is about learning how to be the woman Jesus wants me to be during a really tough season.

Still technically single but ready to do the no pants dance mingle with Geoff Foster,

Stephanie

Peach State Pride & A Zebra Backpack

The good news is, I love my job. The weird news is, I never in a million years thought when I graduated college I would be working for a grassroots movement/clothing line/start up company. The cool news is, I believe in Peach State Pride. One day I am going to look back on this blog post, and remember this moment because I really believe that stressful days like today are the days I am going to tell stories about when I am describing how PSP grew from the ground up. When Peach State Pride really takes off, I never want to forget about the hard road it took to get there. Here's some pictures of the new fall line that is hopefully going to be available to the public in the next 24 hours! It's what we have been putting all our energy into lately, so I hope you enjoy!

Okay, I promise I am not just trying to plug my company. (Which you should go buy something from... HERE!!)

But really, these pictures mean a lot to me because they were taken in one of my favorite places on earth, Milledgeville. And the people in them are very important to me as well. Obviously I am a fan of my BFF Katherine, my smokin' hot boyfriend Geoff, my fellow YL leaders, and of course my ADPi sistahs... but most importantly, that cute blonde by the white column in the coral shirt... Ellen Staton... that girl is something else.

Ellen and I met while she was a high school student at John Milledge Academy in Milledgeville, GA. I was a junior in college, and a Young Life leader at JMA. I always recognized Ellen because she was about 8 inches taller than me, and you couldn't miss her beautiful long blond hair flying in the wind as she ran down the soccer field. I would go sit at the JMA soccer games and of course we never talked because I thought she was too cool to want to hang out with a lame Young Life leader. You may think I am being some kind of sarcastic, but if you have ever been a Young Life leader you know what I mean. I am more intimidated by pretty high schoolers now than I was when I was in high school! So anyways, back to Ellen. When I would see her in the hallway I always knew she was the girl with the zebra backpack. How can you miss a multi-colored zebra backpack? One day when she was walking out of the building, I word vomited "Hey, I uhhh like your backpack." And that was it. That was the moment. Over a backpack... our friendship began.

Bonding over Soccer

From that point forward we recognized each other and said hello when we crossed paths at JMA, but things never got too serious. It wasn't until I gave my first Young Life talk that we started to click. In my intro, I just wanted to break the ice with the crowd. So I said silly things such as "I have a little brother, my favorite color is yellow, and my dog is overweight..." Little did I know, Ellen was sitting in the crowd connecting with me on every word because of her little brother Charlie, her favorite color being yellow, and her love for her fat dog! A couple weeks later, I decided to skip my 2 o' clock class and asked Ellen if she wanted to go eat ChickFilA together. We bonded. It was fate. We became friends so quickly! It was one of those times where it's effortless to hang out with someone because you fit so well together.

Playing field games at Sharptop Cove

Pre-Muck Fest 2011

Post-Muck Fest.... Ew.

Ellen's high school graduation

As Ellen embarked on her senior year and committed to going to UGA, I was sad to lose her distance-wise but grateful for our friendship. Then to my surprise, she changed her mind at the last minute and decided to go to Georgia College. Every one thought she was crazy because people used to choose GCSU as a fall back for getting rejected from UGA... but TIMES ARE A' CHANGIN' PEOPLE!

So Ellen became a Bobcat and decided to go through recruitment. Now let me say this. Joining a sorority and going through the recruitment process looks like one of the most fun experiences via Facebook albums. In my opinion, transitioning to college, moving away from your family and friends, your life literally changing over night and to top it off you are going to tea parties with strangers that want you to join their group... that is overwhelming! So Ellen may have gotten a little stressed out (happens to the best of us) and had a few freak out moments. Those moments were so sweet to me. I got to take on the role of a caretaker and loving friend in that season of change for Ellen. It gave me such an appreciation for the time I got to spend with her as her Young Life leader because it gave us the perfect relationship to be able to lean on each other and trust each other when the going got tough. Things obviously got better, they always do. And now Ellen gets to be the shoulder to cry on for a new freshman experiencing all the hard stuff that comes with moving to college.

Ellen and I at the ADPi Bid Day Band Party with sno-cone turned red tongues!

Ellen fell over after she found out I was her Big! (This was after we convinced her that she would probably end up getting a random person as her big)

Those are tears of joy!!

After Initiation dinner at the Milledgeville Country Club

Even though some of my most wonderful memories with my Ellen are when she became part of ADPi, the coolest, most meaningful times with her were when I got to watch her go through YoungLife leader training and become a Young Life leader at Georgia Military College.

Ellen with all the weirdos on her GMC Young Life team.

During the Spring 2012 Young Life Banquet honoring graduating senior Young Life leaders, each senior was talked about by a fellow leader. Naturally, my best friend Katherine got up to talk about me. But after Katherine's words and while we were about to move on to the next person, the same girl that I used to watch glide down the soccer field with her long blonde hair made her way up to the front with tear filled eyes. My sweet Ellen was headed to the front to talk about me in front of everyone. About 3 milliseconds later, there was not a dry eye in sight. 

Graduating senior Young Life leaders

I cannot put into words what an honor it was to disciple Ellen Staton through Young Life and to later be able to serve alongside her in Young Life. Our friendship has seen joyful moments and heartbreaking pain, we have walked through trials together and we have tackled uncharted territories as a team. We got to ask each other hard questions and we had to receive even harder answers. My life was changed by a girl that I complimented about a colorful zebra backpack. She may tell you that because I was older than her and because I was her Young Life leader that she was the one that learned from me, but don't listen to her for one second because her love for Jesus and her passion for making His name known, her patience, kindness, and generosity all sharpened me and taught me valuable lessons.

I am so thankful for my sweet Ellen. 

My sweet Ellen after the Young Life banquet.

Now go shopping on the Peach State Pride website!

Vacation

Currently, I am snuggled up with two cute pups at the Medlock household! I am housesitting/nannying for the next week. This is not work, this is fun. Don't get me wrong... it is busy.... but it's fun busy! I get to play with the dogs, hang out with the coolest 14 year old I know, be a carpool mom, help with homework, make dinner and drive to cheerleading. Being a mom is fun! However, this is only day 2... so I might change my mind. 

One of my favorite things about being a mom is the mornings. Emily has to be at school by 7:30, so I have the quiet house to myself. I've been able to read and spend time with Jesus. I'm definitely thinking being a stay at home mom is a potential career choice. (It's a full time job... AND there is homework!)

Lots of things have been going on lately, pictures will say it better than words!

Lauren & I were mischievous and set Katherine & David up on a blind date.

Geoff climbed to the summit of Mt. Rainier... 14,410 ft!

Then he got home and I got to embarrass him at the airport.

 Then I got to have my chef back... making banana pancakes. Thanks Jack.

Then Whitley got old. Happy 23rd birthday kitchen dancing queen!

Then Geoff and I discovered Google+ hangouts.

Then my Greek Family grew by 2!! Best lookin' gals around.

Then my mom, Geoff & I visited my aunt in Florida and my mom annihilated us in corn-hole. Cheers! 

We enjoyed dinners on the patio.

And we did some cannonballs into the pool.

We took selfies.

 Cooper practiced his doggie-paddle.

Geoff tested his Gore-tex jacket. CHECK!

Then Geoff ran for president.

We visited Maggie in Rome and got to go to the Ben Rector concert and get snow cones... fo' FREE!!

Geoff said one day when we are grown ups, I can get a small dog if it is cool like Bella.

I got major cool points for being the mom that makes cinnamon rolls for her kids for breakfast!

Then Emily and I did geometry homework!

These are my recent reads from last week! Geoff was traveling and I had some downtime from work... so I got my nose buried in a few good books.

If you want to be entertained, sitting on the edge of your seat, witnessing 2 wonderful characters fall in love, and be completely wrapped up in a book, I recommend starting the Divergent series by Veronia Roth. I read Divergent and Insurgent in two days. The only bad thing is the third book doesn't come out until Fall 2013. To hold myself over until the next book comes out, I started reading them aloud to Geoff. (I don't know if he likes them as much as me)

If you want to learn about Patagonia, how it started, and get to know the man behind all of it, I recommend Let My People Go Surfing by Yvon Chouinard. I read it in preparation for my Patagonia interview. Learning about Chouinard, where he came from, and why he operates the way he does helped me gain a lot of respect for Patagonia as a company.

If you want to be annoyed, let down, and disheartened... then I recommend Delirium. Sorry Lauren Oliver, but I want $9.99 credited to my Kindle. *Spoiler* The fact that the main character mentions having to read Romeo and Juliet for school serves as foreshadowing for an epic tragedy. I just want people to live happily ever after. Yes, that is real life and it is possible.